Capitol Insurrection Lost and Found – The New Yorker

As crews cleaned the US Capitol on January 7, 2021, the phone lines in House Speaker Nancy Pelosis office began to ring. Rioters were calling asking whether there was a lost and found because they forgot their phone there, or they left their purse or what have you, Rep. Jamie Raskin, D-Md., told Insider. Business Insider

U.S. CAPITOL INSURRECTION LOST AND FOUND INVENTORY

(Items that are not collected will be listed, by lot, on auction site http://www.coup-pawn.com.)

Cell Phones

iPhone538, iPhone6, iPhone666, iPhoneArea51, iPhone7, iPhone8 with Find-but-Dont-Implicate-My-Phone function on, SamsungQ02, Nokia Contendere1, Motorola Razr Flip-for-a-Lighter-Sentence, Jitterbug1776

Watches

1 Timex Armageddon, 1 Swatch Bait n Swatch, 3 Seiko Trespassers, 1 Breitling Kristallnacht

Wallets

Please call 1-800-NOT-FBITIPS.

Clothing

T-shirts: 1 Property of Aunt Tifa, 1 with face of David Hyde Pierce Nihilist Crane

Windbreakers: 3 FIB, 1 Maul Security, 1 Windbreaker

1 fleece vest Official Forged Elector

1 hooded sweatshirt Proud Goys

11 S & M leather hoods (10 zippered-mouth, 1 Velcro)

4 onesies My 1st Sedition (3-6 mo., 6-9 mo., 1 yr., adult L)

7 eye patches

2 pairs parachute pants

3 gloves (left)

1,107 gloves (right)

Miscellaneous

6 empty recyclable cans bear spray

2 empty recyclable cans Bear Spray-brand self-tanner

1 pump bottle I Cant Believe Its Not Bear Spray

8 sticks bear roll-on

1 flag WHITESNAKE over Dont Tread on Metal

23 zip-ties, personalized Zach Melchior, lic. massage: Reiki, Swedish, Cranial-Sacral. Venmo: @knead2know

1 pack ZipTwizzlers

1 paperback Turn Your Redwood Deck Into a Gallows!

19 3-D printers

1 palette tinfoil

1 half-palette tossable paper towels

1 Klingon-English dictionary

57 sippy cups

26 pairs Dr. Scholls Insole-nts

2 vials Moderna human-growth hormone

1 vial Johnson & Johnson human-growth hormone

49 vape pens

1 vape hi-liter

2 bottles non-runnable hair dye (mousy brown)

3 pairs mens upper-body armor (with underwire)

832 Cialis gummies

1 Ayn Rand coloring book

1 eight-track tape Best of Ted Nugent

7 pairs Warby Parker tear-gas goggles

1 Jewish Space Laser USB charger

1 Jewish Space Laser holster

1 Blu-ray disc Home Alone 2

1 Blu-ray player

1 Swiss Navy knife

1 Babylon 5 lunchbox

1 Marvelous Mrs. Maisel promotional makeup box

1 three-pack camouflage condoms

37 hockey sticks (various)

1 hockey puck (Rockford Ice Hogs)

2 hockey moms (various)

12 vacuum packs beef jerky

1 vacuum pack Impossible plant-based jerky

1 combination Taser/bedazzler

1 power washer/delouser

3 lawn darts

29 airplane neck pillows

5 aqua noodles

73 vuvuzelas

1 bugle

1 fife

1 cudgel (teak)

1 Wiffle cudgel (plastic)

2 squeegees

1 human shield

1 inflatable human shield

1 pair scaffolding crampons

1 T-shirt cannon

3 police batons

1 police-baton koozie

1 bolt-cutter (std.)

1 bolt-cutter (Phillips-head)

8 giant foam fingers (assorted colors)

1 giant foam spleen (red)

1 Flowbee

1 can Shaman headdress dry shampoo

1 upside-down Bible

1 Druid hymnal

144 Oath Keepers seat cushions

1 Bankers Box containing 11,781 photocopied blank Georgia ballots

1 N-95 Phantom of the Opera mask

1 pair testicles labelled Sen. Cruz

See more here:
Capitol Insurrection Lost and Found - The New Yorker