Peter Dazeley / Getty Images
Menopause can bring about a number of mental, physical and emotional changes including some shifts in your sex life.
Clinically speaking, menopause is reached when youve gone 12 straight months without a period, marking the end of ones reproductive years. The average age of the last menstrual period is 51, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.
But the transitional phase leading up to menopause, known as perimenopause, typically lasts about four years though it can be as short as a few months or as long as 10 years.Colloquially, however, many use the word menopause as an umbrella term to encompass the whole process.
During perimenopause, which often begins in your mid 40s,levels of hormones likeestrogen and progesterone fluctuate. This can lead to irregular periods, hot flashes, insomnia, brain fog, mood swings, vaginal dryness and low libido all of which can impact ones sex life directly or indirectly. Its worth noting that, for some individuals,symptoms may be intense and last a while, and for others they may be more mild and fleeting.
And although certain symptoms likehot flashes tend to dissipate over time, others like vaginal dryness often persist and may even worsen.
The loss of estrogen during menopause can cause the vaginal and vulvar tissue to become thinner, dryer and less stretchy, which can lead to pain during sexual activity, Dr. Stephanie Faubion, director of the Mayo Clinic Center for Womens Health and medical director of The Menopause Society,told HuffPost.
And while there is a lot of discussion about the challenges of sex after menopause, it may be comforting to know that its definitely not all doom and gloom.
The good news is that most women who had a good sex life before menopause can continue to enjoy a good sex life after menopause, Faubion said.
In fact, its a myth that women stop being sexual once menopause hits, midlife sex coachSonia Wright told HuffPost.
Story continues
Menopause can actually be the beginning of something amazing; even better than sex in your 20s and 30s, she said. You get to be a sexual being until the day you leave this world. Postmenopausal sex can be even more intimate, connective, pleasurable and very satisfying.
If you are struggling with your sexual well-being around menopause, reach out to your health care provider to discuss causes and potential treatment options tailored to your needs.Vaginal lubricants and moisturizers, sex therapy,hormone therapy, and lifestyle changes like incorporating yoga may help.
Below, women share their personal experiences with sex after menopause.Note: Some last names have been omitted to protect their privacy. Responses have been lightly edited for clarity and length.
The only thing that changed was knowing what I want from a sexual relationship, and what I will and wont tolerate.
1. I was und 52 when menopause symptoms started, and its now been close to two years postmenopause. When my monthly cycle started to become irregular, I realized menopause was beginning.I did a bit of reading on what to expect, and two of the possible issues I came across were lack or loss of sex drive and vaginal dryness. The worst symptom for me was hot flashes, and I was fortunate that I didnt need any hormone replacement therapy.
I have always had a relatively high sex drive and sex is important to me, whether in a relationship or not. My sex drive has remained high, and I enjoy a healthy and safe sex life even though I am single. Even though pregnancy is no longer an issue, I always use condoms and get tested for STIs yearly. I have had no issues regarding vaginal dryness and do not need any lubricant for vaginal sex.
For me, the only thing that changed was knowing what I want from a sexual relationship, and what I will and wont tolerate. Life is too short for bad sex!
What has surprised me is that I find myself attracted to men who are younger than me. I had always dated older. All of my sexual encounters since menopause and becoming single are with younger men ranging in age from 39-50 years of age. Kim P., 56, Queensland, Australia
I dated a gentleman who made me realize I was still a sexy, vital, vibrant woman.
2. I think I was around 55 when I started going through menopause. I noticed I wasnt really interested in sex, but I wasnt sure if it was my circumstances I was in the middle of a divorce or The Pause. After my yearly gynecologist visit, where my doctor told me about vaginal atrophy and a few other midlife issues that might arise, I just gave up on sex.
But at age 65, I briefly dated a gentleman who made me realize I was still a sexy, vital, vibrant woman. Sex was fun again! So Im not sure if it was menopause that made me think I no longer was interested in sex/intimacy, or if it was my mind and society. Whatever the case, Im ready for dating and this next new chapter. Bring it on! Brenda B., 67, New York City
Sex postmenopause may be different, but it doesn't have to be lackluster.
Now Im having the best sex of my life.
3. Ive been postmenopausal for a couple of years at least. Now Im having the best sex of my life.Its largely due to the fact that I know exactly what I want. And I feel entitled to say, This is what I want. And this is how I want it. And to also say, No, thats not what I want even if its pretty minor.I just know what I want, and I know how to ask for it and to be demanding in a good way.
I had actually very few menopausal challenges, although I started acupuncture early. Ive done regular acupuncture for probably 20 years now. And my acupuncturists goal from the beginning was like, Lets keep your cycle as regular as we possibly can for as long as we possibly can. And I think that was hugely helpful to me: having her support and having her focus on my hormones, to keep them going in the right way. So thats what I recommend not necessarily acupuncture but dont try to go through menopause solo. Get support, whatever support you can find, that will work for you.
As a sex coach, Im a huge proponent of masturbation. Because that way, you know your whole body and that really empowers you then to say, This is what really works for me. Theres a quality of use it or lose it. So if youre not in a partnership, and youre not having regular sex and youre not masturbating, youre just not juicing your flow, basically.
Find the vibrators that work for you. There are so many available right now: vibrators, dildos, combos. I encourage my clients to do The O 30: Masturbate 30 days straight, and see what you learn and see what changes in your life. Dori Melton, 58, Oakland, California
My libido actually surged at menopause.
4. I didnt have expectations about how sex would be after menopause. I had never heard that it might change due to menopause. I think that was positive in that I didnt internalize stereotypes about inevitable libido changes. My libido actually surged at menopause. But it was also negative in that I had not heard about common postmenopausal physical symptoms such as thinning of vulvar and vaginal tissues, often referred to as a sensation of dryness.
So when I began to experience pain with penetration after menopause, my ignorance resulted in a longer-than-necessary time to diagnosis and treatment after trying various types of lube that did not address the underlying issue. I came to learn that this condition (urogenital atrophy) is very common postmenopause and usually easily treated, but it is under-diagnosed and under-treated. Sometimes considerable self-advocacy is required. In my case, insertable vaginal estrogen effectively resolved my symptoms and has prevented recurrence of symptoms with ongoing use.
Aside from the temporary physical symptoms I experienced, sex after menopause has mostly been as good and often better than sex prior to menopause. Reasons for this likely include increased sexual confidence; greater experience with sex, relationships and communication; a consistent standard of mutual desire and enthusiasm; some exploration with a variety of interesting partners; and increased privacy as my children have become adults.
In my experience, generally speaking, choice in sex partner(s) can make a tremendous difference in how a woman might experience sex. This is true in any stage of life, though there are some stages and circumstances I believe are particularly fragile, such as early sexual experiences, sex post-childbirth, sex approaching menopause when hormones are erratic, sex postmenopause, and sex during ill health or while processing grief.
I was partnered as I was approaching menopause, and the sexual dynamic became all about my then-partners needs and fears. Had we still been together and focused on his needs postmenopause when I experienced pain with penetrative sex, I think I mightve really struggled with the amount of self-advocacy required to get a diagnosis and treatment. Instead of having to focus on advocating to fulfill someone elses needs, I was motivated to maintain the pleasurable sex life Id cultivated for myself. Jackie, 54, CaliforniaThis story was originally published on HuffPost.
See the rest here:
Women Over 50 Reveal What Sex Is Actually Like For Them After Menopause, And It's Pretty Enlightening - Yahoo Canada Sports
- Bio Identical Hormone replacement therapy "alternative medicine" OMT - June 1st, 2010 [June 1st, 2010]
- Healthbeat - Hormone Replacement Therapy - August 5th, 2010 [August 5th, 2010]
- Does Hormone Replacement Therapy increase breast cancer risks? - August 11th, 2010 [August 11th, 2010]
- Hormone replacement therapy increases risk of cancer - October 20th, 2010 [October 20th, 2010]
- Hormone Replacement Therapy Risky For Women - October 20th, 2010 [October 20th, 2010]
- Can Hormone Replacement Therapy Lead To Breast Cancer? - January 31st, 2011 [January 31st, 2011]
- Women Turning To Holistic Hormone Replacement Therapy - February 18th, 2011 [February 18th, 2011]
- Is Hormone Replacement Therapy Dangerous? - March 17th, 2011 [March 17th, 2011]
- Hormone Replacement Therapy Complications - May 8th, 2011 [May 8th, 2011]
- Hormone Replacement Therapy - May 10th, 2011 [May 10th, 2011]
- The New Growth Hormone Replacement Therapy - John Crisler, DO - May 13th, 2011 [May 13th, 2011]
- Suzanne Somers on hormone therapy for menopause, part 2 of 6 - May 20th, 2011 [May 20th, 2011]
- Symptoms of Menopause (Menopause #2) - May 20th, 2011 [May 20th, 2011]
- How to Relieve Menopause Symptoms : Hormonal Replacement Therapy for Menopause - May 20th, 2011 [May 20th, 2011]
- HRT - Hormone Replacement Therapy - May 20th, 2011 [May 20th, 2011]
- What is hormone replacement therapy? - May 20th, 2011 [May 20th, 2011]
- Hormone Replacement Therapy and Breast Cancer - May 20th, 2011 [May 20th, 2011]
- Natural Treatments Instead of Hormone Replacement Therapy - May 20th, 2011 [May 20th, 2011]
- Suzanne Somers on hormone therapy for menopause, part 1 of 6 - May 23rd, 2011 [May 23rd, 2011]
- Hormone Replacement Therapy for post-menopausal women - June 19th, 2011 [June 19th, 2011]
- Joe Rogan talking about hormone replacement therapy 6-14-2011 - June 25th, 2011 [June 25th, 2011]
- Hormone Replacement Therapy and Weight - June 25th, 2011 [June 25th, 2011]
- HRC Hormone Replacement Therapy - June 25th, 2011 [June 25th, 2011]
- Study Hormone Replacement Therapy Increases Breast Cancer Risk - kdka.com - June 25th, 2011 [June 25th, 2011]
- 020 - Neo Hormones - July 1st, 2011 [July 1st, 2011]
- Making Sense of Hormone Replacement Therapy - July 28th, 2011 [July 28th, 2011]
- HRT MTF Transition Report Week 10 - July 29th, 2011 [July 29th, 2011]
- Hormone Replacement - Part 2 - July 30th, 2011 [July 30th, 2011]
- Hormone Replacement - Part 1 - July 30th, 2011 [July 30th, 2011]
- Goldie Lookin Chain - HRT - August 9th, 2011 [August 9th, 2011]
- Natural Hormone Replacement Therapy - September 23rd, 2011 [September 23rd, 2011]
- Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT): Optimizing Clinical Outcomes - Michael Aziz, MD - September 24th, 2011 [September 24th, 2011]
- Thyroid Replacement Therapy - Ronald Rothenberg, MD - September 24th, 2011 [September 24th, 2011]
- Dr. Ralph Turner discusses Hormone Replacement Therapy. - September 24th, 2011 [September 24th, 2011]
- 1 year on HRT - September 24th, 2011 [September 24th, 2011]
- The Wiley Protocol - September 24th, 2011 [September 24th, 2011]
- My Journal with Low Testosterone TRT Replacement Therapy - September 24th, 2011 [September 24th, 2011]
- 12 years of HRT: My Transition in photos - September 24th, 2011 [September 24th, 2011]
- Dr. Steven Jepson talks about Bio-identical Hormone Replacment Therapy - September 25th, 2011 [September 25th, 2011]
- Estradiol Valerate Injection HRT (Part 3)of(3) - September 25th, 2011 [September 25th, 2011]
- Study: Post-Menopausal Hormone Therapy Increases Cancer Risk - September 25th, 2011 [September 25th, 2011]
- Bio-identical Hormone Replacement (anti-aging) Therapy - Westchase, Tampa, Florida - September 25th, 2011 [September 25th, 2011]
- natural hormone replacement - September 28th, 2011 [September 28th, 2011]
- 6 Month Hormone Effects (before and after) - September 28th, 2011 [September 28th, 2011]
- Jeff Life, MD - Cenegenics, Hormone Replacement Therapy - September 29th, 2011 [September 29th, 2011]
- Huge - September 30th, 2011 [September 30th, 2011]
- Transsexual hormones,Intramuscular injection, Progynon Depot,Estradiol - October 2nd, 2011 [October 2nd, 2011]
- Dr Whiting on Menopause and the Dangers of HRT - October 12th, 2011 [October 12th, 2011]
- Ahuviya Harel (ADF-Fuensalida) to Start Hormone Replacement Therapy - October 13th, 2011 [October 13th, 2011]
- Clomid Defined - Video - October 14th, 2011 [October 14th, 2011]
- Thyroid Hormone Replacement Therapy - Dr. Denis Rebic - Video - October 14th, 2011 [October 14th, 2011]
- Hormone Replacement Therapy - Video - October 14th, 2011 [October 14th, 2011]
- Dr. Pamela Smith - Bio-Identical Hormone Replacement - Video - October 15th, 2011 [October 15th, 2011]
- Jasper Carrott - Traffic - October 22nd, 2011 [October 22nd, 2011]
- VIDEO: Breast Cancer, Hormone Replacement Therapy Connection - Video - October 24th, 2011 [October 24th, 2011]
- Menopause and Hormone Replacement Therapy with Dr. Sulak - Video - October 24th, 2011 [October 24th, 2011]
- Menopause - October 24th, 2011 [October 24th, 2011]
- bio identical hormone replacement therapy raleigh durcham chaepl hill north carolina - Video - October 24th, 2011 [October 24th, 2011]
- Endocrine Related Hair Loss, Can Hormone Replacement Therapy Help Treat This? Friedman - Video - October 24th, 2011 [October 24th, 2011]
- Dr. Navarro Discusses Bio Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy - Video - October 24th, 2011 [October 24th, 2011]
- Hormone Replacement Therapy by the Book - Eldred Taylor, MD - Video - October 24th, 2011 [October 24th, 2011]
- Sangeeta Pati, MD, FACOG, discusses Hormone Replacement - Video - October 24th, 2011 [October 24th, 2011]
- Active Center's Dr. Gross Discusses Bio-Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy on NEWS 12 NJ - Video - October 28th, 2011 [October 28th, 2011]
- DALLAS ANTI-AGING MEDICINE BIO-IDENTICAL HORMONE THERAPY - Video - October 29th, 2011 [October 29th, 2011]
- Hormone Replacement Therapy and Menopause in Women - Video - November 8th, 2011 [November 8th, 2011]
- Amberen - Natural HRT Alternative Commercial - Video - November 9th, 2011 [November 9th, 2011]
- The Dangers of HRT - Video - November 11th, 2011 [November 11th, 2011]
- The Benefits and Risks of Male Hormone Replacement Therapy - Video - November 16th, 2011 [November 16th, 2011]
- Natural Menopause Treatment - Herbal HRT Alternative - Video - November 23rd, 2011 [November 23rd, 2011]
- Dr. Ian Thorneycroft - Hormone Replacement Therapy - Video - November 24th, 2011 [November 24th, 2011]
- Sarah,MTF Transgender 3months HRT - Video - November 24th, 2011 [November 24th, 2011]
- 26. ftm 1 month on t - Video - November 24th, 2011 [November 24th, 2011]
- Dr. Quint Jardine - Hormone Replacement Therapy with Pellets - Video - November 24th, 2011 [November 24th, 2011]
- 6 Month Changes MTF HRT - Video - November 24th, 2011 [November 24th, 2011]
- Medical Mondays: Will hormone replacement therapy increase my risk of breast cancer? - Video - December 6th, 2011 [December 6th, 2011]
- HRT EXPERIENCES NOT ALL GOOD - Video - December 8th, 2011 [December 8th, 2011]
- Sarah, MTF transgender 9 months HRT - Video - December 9th, 2011 [December 9th, 2011]
- Full: Effect of Testosterone Replacement Therapy on Prostate Tissue in Men with Late-Onset Hypogonadism (Dramatic Health) - Video - December 10th, 2011 [December 10th, 2011]
- Suzanne Somers on hormone therapy for menopause, part 3 of 6 - Video - December 11th, 2011 [December 11th, 2011]
- 1 Year HRT MTF Transition - Video - December 12th, 2011 [December 12th, 2011]