People with disabilities can ‘have a personal life’ too, says London, Ont., man looking for love – CBC.ca

John Travers of London, Ont., says he loves music and before the pandemic enjoyed going to live venues. Now, he's using social media to look for a partner 'for my last first date, my last first kiss, my forever love, my soul mate, and my best friend.'

John Travers, 47, is looking for love.

"I'm looking for my last first date, my last first kiss, my forever love, my soul mate, and my best friend," Travers recently wrote in a lengthy Facebook post.

Travers isalso quick to tell you he has the same "wants, needs, desires, and feelings as anyone does."

The London, Ont., resident has cerebral palsy andlives in an apartment on his own, supported by Cheshire Independent Living Services. He requires a personal support worker to get out of bed each morning.

At the start of the year, Traverswrote aFacebook post addressed to "single women."

"I'm disabled with cerebral palsy. So if you can't accept that about me then we aren't a match," he wrote.

"I'm able to have a personal life. Yes, I'm able to have sex, and I'm a very affectionate, very loving man and I believe in lots of cuddling and affection."

Read Travers's full Facebook post here:

Travershas been engaged twice before,but has been single since 2018.Ina Facebook message toCBC News, he said he'stired of the single life, which is why he "put himself out there."

"I think a lot of women see that I'm disabled and they assume that I can't have a personal life or be intimate," he wrote. "Don't let my disability or the fact that I'm in a wheelchair fool you," reads his New Year'spost.

Jeff Preston, a professor at King's University College in London, says people who have disabilities are often viewed as being asexual.

"One of the reasons we don't see disabled people as romantic partners, perhaps, is because of the ways we see disabled people as child-like or innocent," saidPreston, who's also a community advocate.

"We have a habit of associating disabled people with another group of people who are dependent and in need of care: children," says Preston, who hasmuscular dystrophy.

"This can certainly cause difficulties when dating as, in my own experience, when asking someone out,I have gotten the response, 'Oh wow, I'm sorry I never thought of you that way.'"

The media portrayal of people with disabilities is often focused on individuals being asexual, said Preston, pointing to suggestionsthat theylose their sexual ability.

"For many, many people that's, just not the case."

Travers said he's started searching for a partner in part because, "I hate going to bed alone and waking up alone."

He shares intimate details about his disability and his personal life in his Facebookpost, writing he wears "pull-ups for underwear by choice"and "feeds himself unless it's messy." He alsosays he doesn't have "anykind of special computer"and can type well on his own.

He admitted he's a social smoker and drinker. As for what he enjoys, heloves music andiskeen to get out to live venues again once the pandemic is over.

"So if there are any open, mature, and fun single women who are also done with games and BS ... let's chat and see where we go from there," Traverswrote in the final paragraph of his Facebook post.

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People with disabilities can 'have a personal life' too, says London, Ont., man looking for love - CBC.ca